This past Pre-Christmas week, I found myself wanting to slowdown when I knew I couldn’t. I realized I needed to take some time to look at how I spend my time and what’s benefiting me, versus wasting or depleting my time and self. Also I wasn’t feeling like a good parent in the moment and needed to trust it’ll pass. So perhaps slowing down and reflecting on what IS going well instead of where I feel I suck.
I know that’s one way, but what if in the moment, you’re just not there?
In whatever profession or lifestyle you may have, and if you’re a parent, you’re going to feel stretched. Stretched to the point where you may snap or tear. Hopefully not physically, but mentally and emotionally.
This is what happened to me. I also did a live video here in my Virtual Health and Fitness Accountability Group if you prefer to watch 😉
This time of the year gets overwhelming in general. I started to compare myself to all the other moms around me, who “looked” like they had their shit together — baking and making Christmas cookies, elf on the shelf, getting the shopping done, creating cool gifts for their kids’ school teachers, decorating to a tee, etc, etc, etc.
I got down on myself because I felt like I wasn’t doing enough for Gina’s first Christmas in our new home. She’s 3 years old and all the holiday gear was getting her pumped! So instead of refocusing on what I needed to, I kinda lost it with myself, hence got a great cold to top it all off.
Some of my old self-defeating beliefs came back to haunt me too, and I was depressed for a good two days. I kept beating myself up about how I got myself sick and this wasn’t what I needed right now.
Or was it?
Now that I’ve gone through the muck of it all, it was my body’s way of telling me, “SLOW DOWN! And if ya don’t, I’ll give you a cold that will knock you on your ass.” And so it did.
So what did I learn and what are some ways for next time, to slow down and refocus on myself?
1) Acknowledge the feelings. I internalize my shitty feelings sometimes, and if you do too, DON’T! You’re not alone. Take some deep breaths. If it doesn’t work, ask for support. I reached out to some friends who are moms and it brought back some of the sanity.
2) Do something nice and nourishing for yourself. Tell your spouse or babysitter, you need a couple hours to yourself at a nail salon, to get a massage, go to the gym or a yoga class, or grab coffee with a friend. Don’t worry! You really can spare the time so you can refuel your tank.
3) Refocus on what IS going well in all the chaos. Sometimes it takes time to get to this point and we may need to do 1 and 2 first. Things I finally acknowledged that were going well were my daughter was healthy, my job is going well, my husband helps out so much, I’m still alive, my house is still standing. We tend to put all of our energy on the negativity which is what wears and stretches us out! It’s okay to put some positive gems in there.
We also need to remind ourselves that there is no normal way about it. The media and entertainment industry can really do a number on us with that one, so create how you want to go about doing things.
Me? I want to create some new family traditions for next year. Maybe it’s making own own ugly sweater or watching the whole Star Wars Series on every New Year’s Day. Whatever it is, it’s going to be awesome 🙂
Oh and don’t forget, you’re awesome!!!!