Have you ever had old past memories resurface?
Sometimes they show up out of nowhere and it can be both funny and perplexing.
I was in therapy for 5 years, so I’ve worked through a lot of “stuff”. In other words, my psyche can be overactive at times.
After a recent acupuncture session, my psyche really brought out a memory that was triggered by a podcast I was listening to in the car.
I know, funny right????
As I pulled out of the parking lot, I stopped at a grocery store to get some dinner. Let’s say I was pretty relaxed during that car ride and going through the store. I was in my own world. It was nice!
Then when I left and started driving to work, I was listening to a podcast where the podcaster’s daughter was sharing her experience about the first day of college. She shared how she felt scared and alone. I immediately empathized because I totally remember that. In fact, it was like I totally went there.
That first year was tough for me. I had my boyfriend from high school still and that wasn’t going well, plus I was trying to make friends. Then the co-dependency thing came up. I attracted a lot of co-dependent guys because I was co-dependent, which I didn’t realize at the time. Like attracts like.
What I learned in therapy was it began when I was 11 years old and came home, realizing my dad moved out. This I knew was going to happen due to my parent’s divorcing, I just didn’t know when at the time. I remember standing in my parents bedroom looking around to see no evidence of dad. Although my father was still in my life, he wasn’t living there anymore. I remember walking to the closet and all his clothes were gone, then opening the dresser drawers and seeing the same. It was a loss.
From then on, I longed for a male connection. I had my older brother, and although we were close, he kept himself busy with other activities. Then when I entered high school, he entered college, so he wasn’t “around” anymore.
I know this may sound all weird and deep. But as I drove back to work after my acupuncture appointment, those feelings of loss and fear overwhelmed me again. I went from being 18 years old to 11 years old right there at a stop light.
It can feel very confusing at first because you start crying out of nowhere. I knew I was safe and everything was alright, but I believe that I was sooo relaxed after that acupuncture treatment, things were open! Thanks psyche!!!!
Then that story I heard on that podcast, just triggered something and boom! The flood gates opened up.
So when you all of sudden feel an emotion that comes out of nowhere, it’s showing up for a reason. Just trust that you’re human and we feel things. We have memories in our brains and bodies.
But if it’s truly overwhelming and perhaps confusing, talk it out with someone you trust, or meditate if you have a practice. Why keep it stored, when it needs to come out.